Imprisoned

I'm imprisoned in a cold dark cell, locked away all by myself, crying alone in pain. I'm broken and lonely. I'm scared and I'm stuck here in my misery. I hate this. I hate this so much I could scream. I just want to cry. Jesus holds the key to my freedom, He came in and removed the shackles. He came in and He opened the door. He let the light shine in and He set me free. I embraced my freedom for what seems only a moment. I quickly became confused, lies filled my mind, they penetrated my heart. They told me I was no good, that I was unlovable, they said I was a burden. The lies told me to stop loving, to stop striving for something more. They say I am guilty, deserving pain and misery. That I deserve to be locked away and so I crawl back to my prison. I close and lock the door, I shut the windows and let the darkness settle in, I clasp the cold hard shackles tight around my wrists. I am imprisoned by my own free will. I long for freedom, to sing and dance, to reach my arms toward the heavens, to be soaked with warmth and light. I long to care, to shelter those who hurt. I long to help to listen, to hold those who cry in pain but the lies they cloud my heart and mind. They keep me from living and loving, but those lies aren't strong enough, they cannot keep me here much longer because Christ's love it presses on my heart, it overwhelms and brings me to my knees. I cry out in amazement. I cry out in utter joy. I don't know why Christ loves me so but He does and He is never far from my side, so I throw myself at my makers feet and He helps me up again. I will not let the lies consume . I will stand firm in the truth. I will turn my eyes to God above and I will not hide myself from Him. Oh God I pray that your love will compel me to lift your name on high. I pray that your strength will push the darkness from my mind. Change me completely. Help me to look for joy, to be selfless and to aid my friends in need. Keep me from thinking about myself, keep me from my pride, and from my self inflicted wounds. I will not punish myself or those around me any longer. I will live in you and love through you. I will let go of pain and enter into your joy.